Where’s The Beef?

They’re smugglin’ cows

First, I want to take a sec to thank my latest paid subscriber. Thank you, your support means a lot. Yor helpin’ to keep the lights on in the church of democracy.

But can things get any dumber?

During an appearance on Fox News’ Sunday Morning Futures – where pretend reporters in skintight children’s suits harvest the lies and bullshit that are grown and in great abundance on the Fox Fake Newz Farm, dumbelstiltskin and Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent made a shit-tastic claim about the stratospheric rise in beef prices.

At this point, for your own protection, you need to go out to the garage, find some duct tape and wrap the duct tape securely around your head several times. Don’t skimp on the tape. Wrap your head tightly, otherwise pieces of your brain will cover the walls when your head explodes after you hear the unwashed stupidity coming out of Scott Bessent’s ignorant piehole.

Ok? All taped up? Good. Let’s start.

Yes, Scott Bessent has been beset with a condition called cowpie stupid.

Keep in mind Scott Bessent was supposed to be one of the “normal, reasonable” choices to help run the Trump Crime Organization. Just like Trump’s Chief of Staff Suzie Wiles was supposed to be a normal, competent and reasonable person. Nope, both have rabid monkeys running around in their heads, flinging shit at the neighbors and making a mess of everything they touch.

Some Fox Newz idiot hosting Fox Newz Futures on Sunday named Maria Fartiromo, a woman who inflates her lips at the local gas station, asked Scotty, “Why are the beef prices so high? The CEO of Omaha Steaks told me that we are heading for 10 bucks-a-pound hamberder.”

And this is true; the CEO of Omaha Steaks did say that.

This gave Scotty, the Truth-Turd, a chance to climb to the top of a high-dive and leap head first into an empty swimming pool.

Bessent stammered, “Maria, the meat industry is a very specialized market.” [no it isn’t] It goes in long cycles. This is the perfect storm, again, something we inherited.” No Scott, you didn’t inherit it, and the nefarious Cattle Baron, Sleepy Joe, hasn’t hidden all the cows and is charging everyone 10 buckaroos-a-pound for hamburger now. Meat prices have been going up for decades (I will explain later.)

When one massive diving injury wasn’t enough, Scott climbed the high dive again and threw himself off only to smash his skull into the cement a second time.

A stammering and increasingly desperate cowpie stupid Scott said, “Migrants are bringing diseased cattle with them across the border. You know, these migrants brought some of their cattle with them.”

Whaaaaaaaaaaaa????da Hell!!!???

Are these cows in the room with you now Scott?

Are they squeezing cattle through the slats of Trump’s big, beautiful fence?

Are the immigrants riding them like horses over the border while the border guards wave them through thinking it is just a reboot of the television series “Rawhide”?

Or maybe they are smuggling the cows over the border in their backpacks. “I couldn’t bring any water or even little Maria with me. She had to stay in Mexico, but I brought along my favorite diseased cow in my backpack.”

What are they doing with all these cattle when they get here Scott? Keeping them as pets? Is Juan herding his cow up I-15 to a Montana ranch and asking a cattle rancher, “Can I keep my diseased cow with you?”

Scott, why would an immigrant who has traveled from Honduras on foot with his children and then spent every dime he has to hire a coyote to slip him across the border in the back of a stifling big rig, jammed with other immigrants bring a goddamned cow with him? I can hear the coyote now saying, “OK senor, it will be 1000 dineros for you, but the la vaca will be extra and have to ride up front with me.”

Tha’ don’t make a lick o’ sense.

And how are these cows contributing to the high price of beef? Wouldn’t a massive influx of free imaginary herds of illegal alien cows lower the price?

No, Scott, that is not the reason for the high price of beef.

This is the reason for the high cost of beef:
Beef prices are currently high due to several factors, including cattlemen reducing the size of their herds starting as far back as 1975. Smaller herds coupled with drought, high feed costs, and strong consumer demand means the laws of supply and demand come into play. Low supply, high demand = high prices. You would think a treasury Secretary would understand that.

Oh Scott, I almost forgot, there is one more reason for the high cost of beef. And that would be the dumbfucking stupid tariffs on beef imports imposed by the tapioca-brained president who you are paid to lie for. That is why prices are high.

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