It’s raining Schadenfreude!
Poor Elon, Poor, Poor Elon. Donny hates him, Bessent punched him in the eye, he pays women to have sex with him, his children think he is an asshole, his self-driving cars commit suicide regularly, he’s doing so much ketamine that his bladder doesn’t work … and now another one of his SpaceShits explodes.
Couldn’t happen to a nicer guy.
The latest iteration of SpaceX's Starshit spacecraft suffered an unscheduled BooBoo last night. Which is what you get when a Wack-a-doodle, high as fuck on ketamine, tries to build a rocket. It is suspected that “Big Balls,” the head of DOGE, was at the controls at the time. The rocketshit’s upper stage erupted into a huge fireball as it was being loaded with fuel ahead of a static test firing of its engines.
Of the 3 Starshits test flights this year, two have ended in “unscheduled disassembly,” also known as a spectacularfuckaroo of the upper stage shortly after launch.
Here is a video of it!
Hey, who wants a ride to Mars? … Anyone? (Sound of crickets.)
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Truly, a Brigade of Blunderboys. A Gaggle of Grift-lords. A Thicket of MAGAts with Elon flailing somewhere near the front, waving his broken joystick and muttering something about Mars.
Anyway, who’s ready to climb aboard the next test flight? Anyone?
Didn’t think so.
PS: If the launchpad smells faintly of crypto and burned hair, that’s not your imagination. That’s just Musk.
SpaceX needs better rocket surgeons