Well, That Solves That!

No, it don’t!

Well, the Barb-a-licious cos-playing train wreck known as Krusty Gnome is Noem more.

Well, sorta. They moved her over to a new job that Gruppenfuhrer Stevie Miller created in the 12 seconds after she was let go. (While she spoke at a conference no less.)

Her new pretend job is “The Royal Special Envoy and Panty Shield of the Americas for the Western Hemisphere.” The big question on everyone’s lips is, what kind of costumes will she wear, and what kind of hats will go with Special Royal Envoy of the Panty Shield for the Entire Western Hemisphere’s costumes? The Western Hemisphere covers a shit-ton of territory.

Will it be:
Sombreros? Hockey helmets? Panama Hats? A Bolivian bowler? Chieftain headdress? Eskimo fur hood? Salvadorian straw hat? Peruvian knit cap? Mexican cowboy hat? Royal Canadian Mountie Hat? A Toque? Tricorne Hat? Beaver fur hat? Racoon Cap?

Oh, oh, oh… maybe an Indiana Jones hat!

My, my, my, the choice of hats available throughout the entire Western Hemisphere seems endless. Krusty will have her work cut out for her and will need a much bigger closet.

I’ve been told that the headquarters of the Royal Special Envoy and Panty Shield of the Americas for the Western Hemisphere is located onboard a tramp steamer anchored off the coast of Antarctica, where Krusty will feel right at home shooting baby seals.

What is the job of a Royal Special Envoy and Panty Shield of the Americas for the Western Hemisphere? No one knows, as it is a completely made-up fictional job title that hopefully doesn’t come with expensive Boeing 737 flying bordellos.

Speaking of the flying bedrooms that Krusty purchased at taxpayers expense, will Krusty get to bring along her favorite “blankie” and that buzzing travel bag of “potentially embarrassing” objects that Lewdindowski had to hurriedly get off the plane before the flight crew started testing out the batteries of her emotional support “travel accessories.”

And does Cory Lewdindowski still cum with her new job title? His wife is asking. Or will he be demoted to service the new United States Suckretary of Homeland Insecurity, MarkyMarkWayneMullet, as his personal FlufferNutter!

Will this new job change the Krusty we know and love?
Will Krusty Gnome go back to her previous fashion statement by deflating her lips and wearing a beehive on her head? Let’s hope so.

In keeping with hiring the catastrophically incompetent, MarkyMarkWayne will likely be much worse than Krusty. But it should be fun because MarkyMark Mullet has a real problem stringing more than three words together to form his “I’m a big boy” and “I can beat you up” nonsense sentences. There are clips of his inability to speak all over the internet to enjoy.

My current favorite is MarkyMark Wayne saying, “We’re not at war, we’re not at war, they declared war on us, OK, I misspoke we’re at war.” That there is some brain surgery level shit.

The man from Opie-Mc-Dopey Oklahoma is a college drop out, a plumber, and the only senator without out even a bachelor’s degree. He has no police or security training. In fact, during his 2012 congressional campaign, federal agents raided Mullin Plumbing based on a tip from an employee. They discovered a stocked gun safe belonging to Tim Saylor, a convicted felon employed by the company, who ultimately pleaded guilty to firearm possession.

Mullin admitted he had not performed any background checks on Saylor and acknowledged shooting guns with him. MarkyMark Wayne said “I didn’t do a background check because he is a racist white guy who liked guns and drinking and looked OK to me. It’s all those black guys I worry about.”

Boy I feel safe now!

When Trump selected his cabinet, I had no idea that the sole qualification required is, having the IQ of a cabinet.

And so, the orange pedophile’s war of Epstein’s Epic Fury continues.

Now This Just In:
Here is a superb example of Putin ass kissing by the orange turd and his Minister of Stupid, Scott Bessestt. Russia is sharing intelligence of locations with Iran to support Iranian attacks against US forces in the Middle East. So, what did we do? We “unsanctioned” and lifted the restrictions on Russia’s oil, just to be friendly, to a country that wishes us all dead.

And that’s your Life in the Key of Stupid today.

Your “need to read” writers: Remember to read @GeneWeingarten, @Gloria Horton Young, @Steve Valk, @ Paul Krugman, @Heather Cox Richardson and for the best writing on Georgia politics @Charlie Hayslett on Substack.

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