He Has Risen… Again

And again, and again some more.

Well, pardon me for doubting that people can rise from the dead. Maybe I’ll have to rethink the biblical bullshit.

Mitch has released a new photo, oddly, much like the old photo. This new “proof of life” image looks suspiciously like the old proof of life with Mitch’s old head pasted on a new shirt.

I think they should insert and use these photos to help sell picture frames at Target.

No video. No audio statement. Even the republicans are alarmed. The poster child for “the brain damage that concussions can cause”, Tommy Tuberville, (yes, so on brand that he was named after a yam), is requesting that a video of Sick Mitch be released.

Tommy Tumorville said,“Somebody needs to do something and put a little video out.”
(For extra credit, try saying that in Tumorville’s really dumbass hillbilly accent: “Whal golly durn jeez, sumpin’a muss be dunz an’ put out lifelike movin’ pitcher so as weez kin see iffin he still a breathin’).

When someone who has taken so many shots to the head without a helmet that he has to wear an upside-down name tag with his own name on it says, yes, something prolly should be done. Just how hard is it to tell if a man is dead or not? I thought we had tests for that. Has RFKooky gotten rid of those as well?

The hospital pushed back with a statement saying, “He is not yet medically cleared to leave the rehab facility because he is dead and return to the office.”

“We will release him as soon as we can stop his corpse body from smelling and decomposing.”

West Virginia Sen. Shelley Moore Capito, a longtime ally of McConnell’s, told a reporter “I talked to somebody yesterday, who talked to someone else, who knew a friend, who talked to a bus driver, who had talked to a passenger who had visited Mitch in a dream and he said that he was clear-minded and just needs to get stronger.”

Yeah, a few more pushups should do it.

A family member said, “Mitch can and will continue to execute his responsibilities of defiling the Constitution, dismantling civil rights and hating black men (though he has a strong case of Yellow Fever) whether he is sick, sorta-alive or moldering six feet under. That’s how dedicated he is to continue to screw the people of America.”

This is the headline today in the Washington Post:

Why that bastard!

In the stupid of the week, here is what your mind-numbingly stupid, diaper filling, canker sore of a president said:
“I owned the Miss Universe Pageant, and Miss Venezuela always did very well in that pageant, so I know something about the country.”

Yes, his fetid anus-mouth drooled those words of simpleminded imbecility into a microphone for all the world to record and recoil over.

How much did daddy havta pay to get this dumbass mutherfucker through grammar school?

So, the feebleminded president of sexual assault thinks that invading the dressing room and privacy of a half-dressed Venezuelan female contestant of a beauty pageant (which is vacuous stupidity in itself) miraculously bestows knowledge about her country’s politics, agricultural output and government?!

The complete lack of logic here is stunning. I guess because I met a Puerto Rican stripper once who was working her way through nursing school, I know a lot of Spanish. I owned a slide rule once, so I know a lot about trigonometry. He bought a casino once so he knows how to bankrupt it… OK, that one is true.

How in the holy-hell-of-all-that-is-good-and-decent, did we end up here, with a Ritz Cracker for president of the United States of America?

This has been your Life in the Key of Stupid.
T

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T

Here are a few “Need to Read” Writers:
Remember to read @GeneWeingarten, @Gloria Horton Young, @Steve Valk, @ Paul Krugman, @Heather Cox Richardson and for the best writing on Georgia politics @Charlie Hayslett on Substack and Steve Sack for political cartooning.